Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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