I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
