we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
