do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are the jesus of drinking
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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