there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm jealous of your bromance
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
