I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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