im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
