So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
