OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
