did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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