I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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