Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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