I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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