To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
