Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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