Whod you bang
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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