Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
