I want to stick my p in your. b.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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