Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
