life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
