i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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