Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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