So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
