how hairy? two words: wookie tits
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
