dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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