did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
