When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
