Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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