I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
