Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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