I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We're facebook friends in real life
I skipped work to stalk him.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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