Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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