She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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