i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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