last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
