so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize