maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
