I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
