i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
