I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
