yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
