Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
