All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize