Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
