Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
