its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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