Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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