Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
