Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
