Nicole vs. Life
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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