I wish life had little blips of pornography
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
