Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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