I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
