everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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