You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
