carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
smell my finger.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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