did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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