so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
