I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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