It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
