I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
