How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
