can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
