I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A+ Viking dick
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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