I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
