How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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