I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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