The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize