Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
