So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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