i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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