I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
